Education: mental health�s preventative medicine

How a lack of education delayed my diagnosis of bipolar disorder

- Edward Huntly

In February, I was diagnosed with Rapid Cycling Bipolar Affective Disorder, a condition which causes me to cycle between the extremities of mood. It was news I didn�t fully understand, and in the four months since, I�ve been forced to educate myself on an illness which will be with me for life.

In my own way, I�d learnt to understand the rhythms of my mental health from an early age, experiencing my first bout of depression aged fifteen. For years, these heavy, suffocating states made regular appearances; they would occur three or four times a year, for weeks or months at a time.

At this point, I don�t think I�d even come across the word �bipolar� yet, and I had a very narrow understanding of depression. I was convinced that the term wasn�t applicable to my circumstances, because the lows always went away. Instead, I decided I was weak, unique and abnormal, which led me to suffer in silence.

By the time I arrived at university, several years later, these depressions had become darker, more dangerous, and much more volatile. Within days, I could abruptly shift from a �low� to a state of high energy, confidence and character, completely detached from the mood that preceded it.

Now, when the depressions lifted, I faced new challenges: periods of rapid and obsessive thoughts which would immobilise me as much as the lows. The complete lack of control was, and still is, terrifying. Finally, I sought help.

I was referred to a psychiatrist, and was told with conviction that these symptoms were all typical of bipolar. The diagnosis was an unwelcome surprise, but also a liberating one; I had finally been given a framework within which to understand, and a clinical vocabulary with which to express, the experiences of the previous six years.

Together, we explored the developments of my mental health since adolescence: the changing form of my depressions, the significance of its cycling nature, and the neglected symptoms of �highs�. Hypomanic episodes, the other �pole� of the condition, tend to be characterized by euphoria, unchallenged ambition, disinhibition, high energy, and the rapid thoughts I�d become well acquainted with.

We discussed my unpredictable spending sprees: the unused accordion, the �1,000 pursuit to learn three languages at once, and the vast array of old boxes I�d considered essential at the time of purchase. Then came the erratic behaviour. Just weeks earlier, dressed in chequered shirts, I invested hundreds in wood-whittling kits and, to a background of country music, I planned a trip to remote Alaska, believing that my destiny lay with the land.

Despite my symptoms being relatively pronounced, I knew little about bipolar�s lesser known characteristics, and had subsequently been unable to connect the complexities of my mental health to it. As a result, the medication that aims to halt the progression of bipolar disorder came into my life much later than was ideal.

I lacked an education on the details, experiences and realities of mental health; instead, I drew on the popular misconceptions which mental health stigma creates. I formed a deeply entrenched belief that my mental health was a self-inflicted weakness, and became determined that I didn�t deserve help.

A comprehensive education to explore the origins of my mental health would have challenged this philosophy, and would have given me reliable information on which I could base an understanding of my experiences.

Education should be seen as mental health�s preventative medicine. It confronts the stigma, stands up to ignorance, and strengthens solidarity. It�s reassurance to those who suffer that they are not alone, and that they are not to blame for the ill health that befalls them.

Hi, I'm Ed! Earlier this year, I was diagnosed with Bipolar Affective Disorder. Ever since, I have been trying to understand my condition. This is the first time I�ve spoken publicly about my experience, and in doing so, I hope to help break down the barriers for those around me which prevent us from openly discussing our mental health.