Never Giving Up

Living away from home isn't always easy, especially for those of us who suffer from mental health difficulties. But there are other ways to complete your degree whilst living at home...

- Katie

Hi, I�ll start this off by introducing myself: I�m Katie, a history student at Queen Mary University of London. Oh, and I suffer from GAD (Generalised Anxiety Disorder). As fate would have it, my mental health started deteriorating just before I started my first year at university (I know. Great planning, brain). Let�s just say first year wasn�t exactly a walk in the park for me, but I got help and I got better at dealing with my difficulties.

Of course, mental health issues don�t just disappear: instead, you learn what makes you feel better and what makes you feel worse. By the end of first year, I had realised that what really made me happy was my family. We have always been an extremely close family. Throughout my first year I was coming home every single weekend. Home is where I felt safe.

When first year was finally over and I spent my long summer at home, I found myself dreading the idea of having to start second year and being away from home again. So many of my friends love being at University, having their independence and being able to go out when they want, to eat what they want, and to do what they want � but that�s not me. I even thought about dropping out, but I love my degree. I didn�t want my mental health to dictate my life for me.

So I decided that, for my second year, I would have the best of both worlds (don�t start singing the Hannah Montana theme tune). I would live at home, and complete my history degree, and begin commuting. I live in Norfolk, and it�s a four hour round-trip to and from university, which is one hell of a commute, but I knew that this was the right decision for me. Of course the thought of all that travelling and having to rely on public transport was scary, but as soon as I made that decision, it was like a huge weight had been lifted.

I�m not going to lie: it is a long journey. But I can read, or listen to music or do coursework whilst I travel, and I know that at the end of each day, I�m going back to my home, to my family (and my adorable puppy), and the commute is a small price to pay for all of this.

I guess what I�m trying to say is that mental health issues suck. No one wants them and they have a tendency to flare up at the worst of times, but we can�t let these issues dictate how we live our lives. University is a big deal and so many people experience it differently. Just because I live at home and don�t go out partying every night doesn�t mean I�m not a �proper student�. No matter how bad things get, it will always get better and there will always be a way for everyone to do what they want to do. I wanted to complete my degree but I wanted to live at home, and I got used to the commute. For anyone thinking about commuting: just give it a go. You might just find that it is the solution to your university dilemmas, like it was for me. Good luck to anyone who might be reading this, and however you�re feeling right now � anxious, apprehensive, excited � I hope that you keep fighting and never give up.

Hello, I�m Katie, a history student in her second year at Queen Mary University of London. Going to university while living with diagnoses of GAD (Generalised Anxiety Disorder) and OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) can be difficult; I am writing for Student Minds to share my experiences.

4 reasons why I�m talking about Mental Health

After years of silence, Rosie talks about why she has decided to be open about her mental health.

- Rosie

1. Silence creates shame 

For many years, I remained silent about my mental health problems. I felt like I constantly carried a �dirty little secret� and I lived in fear of it being discovered. In a way, I felt like I had something really �disgusting� about me and this secrecy multiplied the shame I felt. Think of hiding mental health problems like covering wounds with bandages- they often need to be in the open air, or they fester. The shame I have felt is not deserved. I have a right to be treated with respect, understanding, and kindness and to live an open life.

2. I want to live openly

Talking about my mental health feels very exposing. It puts me in a vulnerable position because I open myself up to rejection, stereotyping and shaming that are all too real reactions. But acceptance and compassion are real too. I�m glad that after every time I�m silenced or shamed I carried on speaking because when I have found people who listen, it has made me realise that my shame isn�t deserved. It can take time to find people who you feel safe enough to talk to but when I did, it gave me a sense of belonging.

3. It makes others feel less alone 

Every time someone shares their story and it resonates with me, I am inspired to continue to share mine. I believe �me too� is one of the most powerful sentences we have because it tells people that they are not alone in what they go through- this can be a huge relief! Since I started sharing my experiences on my blog and Twitter, Talking About BPD, I have had thousands of tweets from people saying they can relate to me and one another. This sense of community, built through shared experiences, enables people to feel more compassion towards themselves because they see themselves reflected in others. It�s often easier to feel compassion towards others than ourselves, but if we can see ourselves in others we might become more able to extend that compassion towards ourselves too.

4. It breaks down stereotypes

When I talk openly about my mental health people are often shocked because they don�t expect me to have mental health problems. I tell them that there is no personality type for a mental illness! Yet, the �face of mental illness� in the media is not accurate and does not reflect the fact that mental health conditions can affect anyone. My main diagnosis is Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and when I share my story, I show that I�m a sister, a friend, a primary school teacher, a masters student, a spoken word writer- and I have BPD. Anyone might have BPD, you cannot tell by looking. People with BPD are some of the friendliest, most caring, fun and creative people you could ever meet!

I would love you to join the conversation with me, Rosie, over at Talking About BPD, on Twitter @TalkingAboutBPD or at http://talkingaboutbpd.blogspot.co.uk/. It would be great if you wanted to share your story with the growing number of voices talking about their experiences.

Hi I'm Rosie from Talking About BPD, a blog sharing my journey from silence to talking about mental health. I'm a primary school teacher and a Medical Humanities student aiming to open up conversations about mental health. I would love you to join the conversation with me on Twitter @TalkingAboutBPD. 

A BPD�s Favourite Person

Erin opens up about her experience of a non-clinical symptom that is very familiar among people with Borderline Personality Disorder. She draws upon the importance of being as open about your mental illness as possible and how it can aid your journey to recovery.

- Erin Cadden

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is an illness that not many people are familiar with. Honestly, I wasn�t sure of the definition of BPD until a psychologist told me I displayed signs of it. Mental illnesses are highly stigmatised in general but BPD is particularly misunderstood and misrepresented.

A common symptom of BPD that I have personally experienced is having a �favourite person� (FP). Some BPD sufferers are able to easily identify their favourite person and are aware of how they have come to be attached to this person. For me, the realisation that I had a favourite person only came when my relationship with that individual ended. It was only then that I was aware that how I felt towards him wasn�t entirely normal.

An FP can vary by person; In my early childhood, my FP was my mother. For years I struggled with not being near her. Whenever I had to leave her to attend school, parties or sleepovers my anxiety would become increasingly worse. Extreme anxiety and panic attacks meant my social activities and interactions were limited.

When I started university, I met someone with whom I had a great connection. I no longer saw my mother on a daily basis, therefore, my FP transferred to someone new. This new FP was the boy I fell in love with, during the start of university. Despite the fact I may have often said otherwise, he was a great person. He was with me at the lowest points of my mental illness, helping me through episodes that even my mum and sisters hadn�t experienced with me yet.

The connection between someone with BPD and their FP is a bond that, in their eyes, will never be broken. Everything you think about and everything you do revolves around this person you idolise. You emotionally rely heavily on them; you feel they are the only person capable of making you happy. For an FP this can be draining, but for someone with BPD experiencing this reliance, it is equally as exhausting.

It is only now that I realise how dangerous this attachment can be for both the FP and BPD sufferer. Eventually, my FP couldn�t cope. My illness meant it, that I was a difficult person to love.

When my FP wasn�t constantly by my side, I experienced a lot of anxiety which led to the return of frequent panic attacks. My FP found this difficult to deal with. My fears that my FP would one day leave eventually came true. I felt my life was worthless and pointless without my FP constantly by my side. Unfortunately for me, this devastation led to a life threatening situation. Luckily I realised I needed help and was able to begin my journey to recovery.

I feel it is important to note that my FP could have been anyone that I connected with in life. I did not need to necessarily be in love with my FP. Feelings of being in love and the feelings of attachment to an FP are quite different. However, when they occur simultaneously they make relationships difficult. We lacked the awareness and understanding of my illness that was necessary to make our relationship work.

For a long time, I hated him for being the person who gave up on me. The immediate aftermath of the end of our relationship was hard because I had to try to grieve the loss of my FP but also recover from the heartbreak of a breakup, while trying to accept my mental illness. We no longer have any form regular contact and though I might not always want to admit it, I will always be extremely grateful for his presence in my life, good and bad. Although what I had to go through was far from pleasant at the time, I am grateful for the experience, in the sense that, I am now aware of what my mind is capable of.

Showing your appreciation for anyone in your life, especially those who help you through your worst episodes is so important. I have learnt to open my heart to trust more than just one person. Learn not to be sad when people can�t stand by you through your lowest of your mental health. It is not a judge of faulty in your character, but an example of a weakness in theirs. I am now the strongest and happiest I have ever been, and unfortunately, for those who have not stuck by me, they will not get to experience this.

Hi, my name is Erin, I am currently in my final year studying Design Management at UAL in London. I shave suffered from my mental health from the age of 10 years old. My diagnoses are still ongoing but suspected off; Depression, Anxiety, Autism, Bipolar and Borderline personality disorder. I began writing for Student Minds in order to share my own experiences of my journey with mental health. The aim is to increase awareness and to decrease the stigma attached to mental illnesses as a whole.

12 Runs, 12 Months � Reaching the Halfway Mark

Andrew writes why he chose to fundraise for Student Minds and take on 12 Runs in 12 Months as he reaches his half way mark. 

- Andrew Mobey

Wimbledon 30/7/2017

Having completed my 1st ever half marathon in June, I felt a bit more optimistic about the July half marathon in the beautiful Wimbledon Common. It was also flat, which meant most runners were expecting a quick time. For me, it was just about finishing and hopefully beating my last time. However, I came into trouble with the �Morbey Hamstring� as my mother puts it. One thing you can never prepare for is whether or not your body will be able to handle the strain of running 13.1 miles. But I did finish, even managing to beat my previous time, but going forward I would have to look after my body, both physically and mentally.  

Severn Bridge 27/8/2017

This half marathon will forever hold a special place in my heart. I had decided that I would start creating vlogs after my races to capture my true emotions and talk honestly about my mental health. An incident occurred 2 weeks before in London, which lead to me having to cancel another fundraiser I had planned. Without going into too much detail, I had fallen back into my old habits, you can see the vlog here: