My experiences as an LGBT+ student

In this blog, Emily talks about navigating university as a LGBT+ student and the importance of finding a support network.

�I�ve been embraced by a new community. That�s what happens when you�re finally honest about who you are; you find others like you.� � Chaz Bono.

When I first arrived at university five years ago, I�d never really considered what it meant to be LGBT+. Personally, I�ve never been one who prioritised sex or relationships. That hasn�t really changed during my time at university. However, university has been a chance for me to explore my sexuality and begin to discover who I am.

I�ve had strong feelings for males and for females. I would comfortably express myself as bisexual. However, simultaneously, I have never had any desire for anything sexual with either men or women. Therefore, I would also label myself as asexual.

Labelling myself as either bisexual or asexual has been something that I�ve only felt comfortable in doing throughout my most recent, final year at university. Before then, I�ve kept it a secret from everyone. Several things have made me more comfortable in being open about my bisexuality/asexuality confusion, including surrounding myself with people who are part of the LGBT+ community. Most of my closest friends are LGBT+, lots of the people I look up to as role models are LGBT+ and I love and cherish them all � they�re all also the kindest, most inspirational people I know. I think being around LGBT+ people has made me to feel more comfortable about my own sexuality and my own place in the LGBT+ community, and is also useful for other students who are learning about their sexual identity.

One of the regrets I take away from my time at university is not joining the LGBT+ society or attending of their events � I recommend this for any LGBT+ or questioning student. For the first four years of my degree, I didn�t feel comfortable being open about it. Then, in my final year, while I wanted to be involved, I was too busy. However, something I valued a lot was having the opportunity to explore my sexuality through the students� newspaper. I wrote articles about being confused between bisexual and asexual, and I also wrote creative writing pieces with a focus on LGBT+ relationships.

Being an LGBT+ student at university isn�t always simple and easy, but one thing that I think really does make a lot of difference, genuinely, is having a brilliant support network around you.

�What is straight? A line can be straight, or a street, but the human heart, oh, no, it�s curved like a road through mountains.� � Tennessee Williams. 

My name is Emily (Em). I have recently graduated from Swansea University with my BA in Modern Languages, Translation & Interpreting;  I was also involved with Swansea Student Media and the university's student newspaper - Waterfront. I blog for Student Minds because I have experienced mental health issues and support friends who also have mental health difficulties. i am passionate writer and writing has been important in my mental health experience, both in helping me to explore and cope with my mental health as well as sharing my story in order to help others. 

Finding Myself

Ben shares his experiences before and after being diagnosed with Autism and how he coped with it. 

- Ben

To introduce myself; I am Ben Tipton. I live in Shrewsbury, England and I�m a primary education student who�s aspiring to be a teacher, and I have Autism. My journey before and after being diagnosed with Autism was far from easy, or what I would have wanted. So, this post will explain my journey up until my diagnosis and what has changed since then.

From the age of about 5 or 6, my parents knew I was different in how I thought and behaved. I was naughtier than what was expected and a lot more hyper your standard 6-year-old child. Throughout my primary school I was bullied for acting differently and I was incredibly sensitive to little comments other kids made.

Numerous doctors appointments followed this, and I remember not really knowing what was going on. 

When I turned 11 suddenly my sleeping changed. I had constant nightmares and I developed insomnia. I was also bullied in secondary school and this got severely worse too. However, despite the counselling, both in and out of school, a diagnosis never ever came. 

At the age of 16, I had a huge panic attack before an AS level exam and ended up having a week off from college. This resulted in a psychiatric assessment and it was then that I was diagnosed with Social Anxiety. There was more counselling yet again, but I never ever improved, and this made life at home severely difficult as my family didn�t think I was trying to get better! However, I can assure you all, I really was! 

Finally, after further years of counselling with no improvement in my mental health plus a suicide attempt, I reached out for support. I spoke to my best friend, my grandad, who is my hero, and my sister and they recommended that I got tested for Autism! I was 19 years old at the time and my sister accompanied me to the doctors on July 17th 2014 (I will always remember that day). At that visit I was told that it could take up to a year to be diagnosed! A YEAR TO BE DIAGNOSED WAS, AND STILL IS A DISGRACE!! So as a result, my parents went private and I was finally diagnosed on the 16th of August! 

That was the day that my life changed for the good! I became me, the man who had aspirations and no longer had to worry about things when he wasn�t making improvements in the way he acted!

I became happier over night, I became more confident after a few months and began to accept who I was, and ultimately why being Autistic makes me different in so many positive ways! I can confidently say that I am proud to be Autistic! 

In addition to this, I am proud to be studying to be a teacher while also working as a teaching assistant at a primary school. I truly do love my job which is the dream job for this stage of my career. 

I can only thank everyone for the support in my journey up until this point and I genuinely look forward to blogging for this brilliant charity, Student Minds! I also have my own blog which is called The Autistic Referee so if you get a chance, check it out too! 

Until next time,

Ben.

I am an aspiring Primary School Teacher based in Shropshire, England. I was diagnosed with Autism in 2014 at 19 years of age and since then my journey to being a teacher started. I am a huge sports fan and a firm believer in exercise helping mental health and improving self esteem. I am passionate about everyone recognising their own individual talents.

You Didn't Fail Anyone

Rachel shares her experience of how even through tough times, mental health difficulties do not have to limit your success. 

- Rachel

I was eleven when my Granddad passed away. 

One conversation with him in those last few months stuck with me. 

At eleven, I had already decided I wanted to be a writer, and when Granddad told me he wanted me to go to Oxford to study English, I informed him that was already a part of My Life Plan.

(I was a cocky, annoying eleven-year-old.)

I never expected to spend time bouncing in and out of doctor�s offices, hospitals, and psychiatric wards, but I did. My focus, grades, and attendance all dropped. 

My Life Plan inevitably collapsed. 

I would later be diagnosed with anxiety, depression and ADHD, which would also add to the development of Emotionally Unstable (or Borderline) Personality Disorder. While I won't go into the details of these disorders, they had a massive effect on my life, particularly in my first year of University.  I barely attended anything in my first term and resigned myself to failure. I didn't submit assignments or make many friends, and mostly just drank alone. I wasn't in Oxford. I didn't have three A-Levels. I didn't have a good relationship with practically anyone. I eventually dropped out of first year entirely. 

I was living the opposite to My Life Plan.

I convinced myself that I was a failure, and that I had no value to anyone. I no longer even thought of the future, as if it wasn't going to be perfect, I believed I wouldn't have one at all. But there isn't a time limit on success. I thought that I had to have everything together by the time I was twenty-five, otherwise I'd failed. I was so full of guilt, I was ready to throw away my whole life. But along with psychiatric help and medication, I slowly began to understand my mental state, and get myself out of it. 

A symptom of EU/BPD is 'black and white thinking', AKA seeing a situation as entirely good or entirely bad. While this can be a symptom of EU/BPD, I believe it's something many people can relate to.

'If I can't be the best at something, why do it at all?'

'If I don't succeed, then I have failed.'

I saw myself as only a failure over that first year after dropping out of university. Ultimately, I learned that even at your absolute worst, you're still capable of good. I forced myself to accept the fact that I had done bad things, but I was still capable of change. My future didn't have to be empty. 

The world isn't goodies vs baddies. You aren't successful or unsuccessful. 

I'm now back in University, breaking for summer after first year. No, I may not be in Oxford. I didn't get all of my A Levels. It's likely that I'll continue to deal with mental health symptoms for a while yet. I've had to defer some of my assignments due to my health this year.

That's okay. 

I'm sure my Granddad would have loved it if I did achieve My Life Plan by twenty-five.

But I bet he wanted me to be kind, hardworking and happy even more.

Hello! I�m Rachel, a 19 year old Creative Writing student originally from Wales, currently studying at DeMontfort in Leicester. I am diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, ADHD, anxiety and depression. 

Opening up about Men's Mental Health - Michael

Michael shares his experience living with and opening up about mental health conditions.

- Michael

For many years now I�ve been fighting mental health difficulties such as depression, mental paralysis, and anxiety. I�m in the prime of my life, so I ask myself, why do I feel like this? I�ve just turned twenty and I am a Student in London, but I find it hard to introduce myself because for years I didn�t have a clue who I was. My worst times were between 2015-2017 and I�m now in a rebuilding stage. I still fall down sometimes, but I get back up. Always get back up.

I see every day the major stigma for men to open up about themselves. People ask why? Men have been portrayed for decades � centuries, even � to be strong and mentally stable. It�s okay to be an �Alpha Male�, but it�s okay to be emotional too. The whole issue of stigma comes from society and the people around us. Our friends/family are often the main people we�d cover it up from, and I covered up my emotions just so I wouldn�t show weakness. Men do this, and using this mask works to an extent. It�s also hard finding somebody who will understand. Not many friends/family will ever understand what�s going on. I know this because I could never talk to people I care about the most.

What makes me talk today? I�ve had enough of seeing people fall below me. Meaning, I�ve been on the brink of giving up many times. Those potential final moments of your life it�s just an unexplainable feeling. Known/unknown names are falling below the level and it frustrates me. Therefore, for a Male like myself to decide to open up. It�s bloody necessary in today�s society.

I�ve found myself struggling to function sometimes because my cognitive performance has been worn out with stress and anxiety. I�m currently having to rebuild my ability to do things I once thought were simple, such as literacy skills. I also lost a lot of good things in my life during those bad times. I gave up activities I once loved, like hiking and the gym. I banned myself from learning to drive because I nearly crashed the car from lack of concentration. I didn�t want to put others in danger, so I quit. I lost important individuals who didn�t know about my mental health difficulties because I didn�t want to drag them down with me. I was giving up on my future. I couldn�t let them waste theirs, that would�ve been selfish of me. It�s these regrets that I have which are also encouraging me to talk and help others.

I think that the main challenge for men in our society is to get over their own ego which makes them think they�ll be strong enough to get through it alone. I�d love to meet a person who walked in and out of mental health difficulties without anyone knowing or without any harm done. I went years without telling anyone and it made me worse. I accept that everyone is different, but everyone needs some kind of help from a healthy source. We were all born to do something in life. We aren�t here to just struggle day by day and only find peace on our deathbeds.

Therefore, we as men need to open up. It doesn�t matter who you are, or your story. A �real man� talks! Don�t ever think you have go through mental health issues alone, that�s just toxic. You can get through the barrier, you just have to break through it. There are so many resources to help us overcome mental health difficulties, you just have to use them. The first step? TALK!


If you would like to get involved with our Men's Mental Health blogging series, then you can find all of the details here. You can also send us an email at blog@studentminds.org.uk for more details!

Hi, I'm Michael Rigby and I study Sports Business and Broadcasting at UCFB Wembley. I have experienced mental illness, including depression and social anxiety since the age of 14.

Building mental health communities at university

As part of University Mental Health Day, Julia discusses the importance of building communities for students to talk about shared experiences of mental health in university.

- Julia

Coming to university having quietly struggled with mental health, I was keen to be involved in extracurricular activities and to build myself circles of friends. It has always been a coping mechanism if mine to find friends with common interests and surround myself with them. From choirs and music ensembles to other student journalists, engaging in shared interests has always been so important to me for my mental wellbeing.

During my first year, I was encouraged to seek out further help and relatively quickly, having struggled quite substantially, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. It was then that, as well as my friends and extracurricular communities, I started to engage with mental health communities in my university. Or rather, I started some communities myself. Joining the Students� Disability Community and becoming actively involved and engaged in that, I was quickly elected to Mental Health Officer. I became aware that lots of students did not want to become involved in physical support groups because that was an intimidating step, so I created online support groups for Oxford Students on Facebook. These were all secret but could allow students to discuss struggles and shared experiences with services in the city. There are now six support groups for different mental health conditions, supporting over 500 students, and some groups have met in person now. Even though advertising these groups among the university community, it enriches the community in the normalization of mental health difficulties.

It can be easy to feel isolated at university when you have a mental health difficulty, and speaking to other students who also share experiences of mental health difficulties can make you feel less alone. Meeting with the bipolar support group for the first time, the other students and I shared our experiences � laughed at similar situations we�ve been in, and empathized with the bad experiences. It was so reassuring to be part of a community who understood what I�d been through.

Even now that I am stable and don�t feel that I need much support on a day to day basis, I still like to engage with other students who have struggled or are struggling with mental health difficulties. When you are part of universities communities, whether a sports team, a musical group, or a college at your university, talking frankly and sharing experiences make mental health normal for the whole community. Students I don�t know personally have approached me because my openness means that they feel comfortable talking, often for the first time, about concerns or struggles that they have had. To me, this exemplifies why community is so important for mental health and why it is the perfect theme for University Mental Health Day. Both on a personal level of support from the communities we surround ourselves with, and also seeing the change that happens to communities as we talk, without shame, about mental health.

Take action and be part of a growing movement to transform the state of student mental health. Join a Student Minds group on your campus or set up a group today. 

I'm Julia, and I'm currently studying music at the University of Oxford. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder during my first year and, since then, have dedicated my time to talking about mental health. As well as writing for the blog, I am one of the sub-editors and have been involved with Student Minds as a press ambassador, a peer support facilitator, and on their Student Voices Forum and Student Policy Panel. I'm also the Oxford editor for Blueprint, a student mental health magazine, and the mental health officer the Oxford SU disability campaign. I feel strongly about discussing aspects of mental health, such as hypomania or mania that accompanies my bipolar disorder, to reduce the taboo.

It's okay to reach out

Hannah shares her experience of anxiety around her dissertation and how reaching out for support helped.

 - Hannah Morton

At school, I�ve always had to work hard and had been a fairly average student. I�ve also been a pretty good procrastinator and when you team this with my anxiety, you can easily become a master of avoidance. I�ve struggled with depression and anxiety since my mid-teens however when it came time to go to university I believed I�d beaten it. For the first two years of my studies, things were generally fine but then came my third year and my dissertation.

I had decided my title and study for my dissertation, spent the summer abroad carrying out research and found the papers and books to refer to. However, when it came to writing, I�d freeze. I can�t tell you how many hours spent staring at that blank document desperately willing myself to write something.My dissertation had become such a big deal to me that I was completely overwhelmed.

I continued all my other work.  Coursework, readings, exam revision, that was all fine but when asked how my dissertation was going, my response was simply, �it�s going�. Truthfully, it was going nowhere. I disengaged with my supervisor and buried my head in sand.

In March of my final semester, it became too much. My anxiety had become so all-consuming; I fell into depression. I just felt complete despair and had an overwhelming feeling I just couldn�t do it. I didn�t want to leave my bed; sleep was an easy escape from reality. I was certain I was going to have to drop out of University, right at the last hurdle. I felt so weak and disappointed in myself.

Continuing my studies felt impossible but one day I managed to find some strength and did something I should have done a lot earlier, I reached out for help. I made an appointment with my GP and told him everything they gave me a prescription and referred me to a counselling service. I then pushed myself to ring my mum and tell her what had happened. This was something I was extremely apprehensive to do but when I did the biggest emotion I felt was relief. I was able to get support and though it wasn�t easy, I managed to complete and submit my dissertation, finish my third year and graduate!

When you�re struggling it can feel exceptionally lonely and it can be so hard to reach out to anyone. I was ashamed of myself and felt everyone would judge me and think badly of me. In reality, everyone was so supportive and I only wished I�d been able to do it sooner.

It is important to reach out in a way that is right for you but honestly, it is absolutely worth taking that chance. This experience also taught me that if you�re determined, you really can do everything you need to do.





Hi, I'm Hannah. I graduated in 2012 and have depression and anxiety, I have done since I was around 14/15yrs old. I wanted to write for Student Minds as my mental health has had a big impact on my life, both negative and positive, including my studies. I'm now a mental health blogger and campaigner, working in Student Support, hoping to help others with similar experiences.