Dear Fresher Me

Michael writes about some tips and tricks he wish he knew as a fresher. 

Starting university can be a really fun, exciting, and self-defining experience. But it can also be challenging, particularly whilst you settle in and find your feet. I started university after spending two years in full time work and I found it really intimidating and overwhelming. I felt like I didn�t belong and this made me anxious around others and pretty hard on myself. 5 years later I am still at uni and much happier. Here, I give my 5 #DearFresherMe tips for managing when you start university.

1.      Find Your University Support

You might not need it but it�s always helpful to have an idea early on of where to go for support if you feel like are struggling. Find out what student welfare services and general pastoral care your university provides, what they do, and how to access them. It helped me to speak to a member of the welfare team on the first day - after that, they looked out for me during the first few weeks whilst I was struggling.

2.      Ask for Help if You Need It. 

Speak up if you are feeling overwhelmed or anxious. I found that people were really supportive and accommodating if they knew you were struggling but, with so many other students, they might not realise something is wrong unless you tell them. Equally don�t be afraid to ask about uni life more generally. I thought that if I asked questions about the academic or social elements of university life, people would think I was stupid. But it becomes harder to ask the longer time goes on. The opening few weeks are a really good time to explore how everything works and ask questions.

3.      Get into a Healthy Routine.

You might find when you get to University that you have less compulsory contact hours than you expected. For some, this can make it hard to know when the work starts, whilst, for others, it can be hard to know when it stops. Either way, it will be helpful to get into a healthy routine early on to help balance your time and look after yourself. I found that it helped to treat my uni work as a job with set times and spaces; I chose to only work at the library so that I could keep my room as a time and space for me. 

4.      Get Organised

Because I felt anxious and overwhelmed, it really helped to get organised. Use a diary, record academic deadlines and other commitments, file your work, and regularly check and sort your university emails to make sure that you are on track and don�t miss anything. This will likely save you some stress and last minute panics!

5.      Relationships Matter.

Having a good support network of friends will help you get the most out of your university experience. Although building new friendships takes time and effort, it really is worth it. If you find it hard meeting new people, you won�t be alone � there will be other people that will feel the same and really appreciate a smile and a chat. Or you could try to find ways of meeting people with similar interests by joining societies or volunteering.

Everybody�s university journey is unique, and we all go to university with different hopes, fears and expectations. Try to take things at your own pace based on the advice that feels right for you. 

About Michael:

Hi, I'm Michael. I'm a postgraduate student at Durham. I want to write for Student Minds to share my own experiences of depression and anxiety and tackle the stigma around mental health.

Some useful links:

Finding Support: https://www.studentminds.org.uk/findsupport.html

Transition to university: https://www.studentminds.org.uk/transitions.html

Looking after your wellbeing:  

https://www.studentminds.org.uk/lookingafteryourmentalwellbeing.html

Talk Club: asking for help

Michael writes about what the film Fight Club can teach us about mental health.

- Michael

Fighting Myself

For a long time, I found Uni really tough. It was definitely made tougher though, I see now, by my total reluctance to ask for help. I suffered in silence, spiralling into despair as I increasingly struggled to fight my own thoughts. I remember a concerned staff member speaking to me. They suggested that I should go to the counselling service. �There is no point going to counselling�, I told them dismissively. �It�s a waste of time�. �I don�t want to talk about it, I just want to do something!� This desire for action at times of difficulty is understandable and it can, of course, be very healthy to take appropriate action to change certain circumstances in your life if they are causing you excess stress and distress. But it can become damaging if, like me, this desire to do something stops you from wanting to face up to, and talk about, your feelings. Taking action is not the problem here � but viewing action as a �quick fix� to our emotional problems can cause problems if it stops us from talking about them. By reflecting on the film Fight Club, I hope to show how destructive prioritising action over talking can be (especially for men) and why we shouldn�t be dismissive about asking for help.

Fighting the Expectations

I think men can be particularly susceptible to this view (due, in large part, to the emotionally repressive barriers to talking about feelings imposed by the �rules� of masculinity � I have posted on this before). I certainly remember having some vague (and false) preconception that, when times are hard, women talk about it and men deal with it on their own. Research suggests that men are less likely to talk to a friend, family member or professional about their mental health, and are less likely to value, seek or access talking therapies than women - tending, instead, towards self-destructive and harmful behaviours (see www.menshealthforum.org.uk).

Fight Club

Fight Club, on the surface, seemed to suggest the perfect outlet to me; a form of therapy based solely on action and not talking (after all, the first rule of Fight Club is that �you do not talk about Fight Club�). For me, the film symbolised an easy way to express difficult emotions that was, at last, actually permitted, indeed encouraged, by the rules of masculinity. In the film, as in my own mind at the time, fight club was man therapy (contrasted with the supposedly futile and feminised talking therapies in the opening scenes). It was not necessarily that I wanted to fight (although there were times when I projected my internal fight onto external sources). It was more that I just wanted to do something, anything, to break out of and distract myself from my own thoughts, no matter how much pain it brought. In Fight Club, having fought, the character�s problems seem muted, insignificant even. They claim to feel better and more self-aware. But, as the group mutates into an anti-capitalist terrorist organisation, the film shows us how the therapy offered by fight club can be dangerous and illusionary. By the end, the two protagonists have morphed into an alter-ego fighting each other. Their fight is self-destructive. In the same way, by refusing to ask for help and trying to take action to fight my feelings on my own, I was only fighting myself.

Talk Club

After finally seeking professional help, I now have a different view of counselling and talking about feelings more generally. We shouldn�t dismiss talking as inferior to action, because talking is itself a form of action. By this, I mean that when I eventually did talk to someone, it opened up new positive actions that, trapped in my own self-destructive thought patterns, hadn�t occurred to me before. Talking (and indeed blog writing) helped me to (re)order my thoughts and reach a new understanding of the experiences that I was finding tough. Fight the stigma not yourself: speak out and ask for help.

About Michael:

Hi, I'm Michael. I'm a postgraduate student at Durham. I want to write for Student Minds to share my own experiences of depression and anxiety and tackle the stigma around mental health.Some useful links if you're looking for support:Nightline - Student Listening signposting service, who can help you on your way to finding support. Find your uni Nightline ?here HopeLineUK - phone service for young people, staffed by professionals T: 08000684141 E: ?pat@papyrus-uk.org

Secrets, Shame, and Sharing your Story

Andrew explores why it took him time to open up about his mental health struggles, and why he resists being labelled as 'disabled'.

- Andrew

I was diagnosed with depression at seventeen years old. Fortunately for me I have friends who, at the time, convinced me that I needed to tell my parents something wasn�t right in my head. In my first appointments with many psychiatrist and psychologists I was told the same thing, almost word for word: �there is a chemical imbalance in your brain� and �you aren�t producing enough serotonin�. During that time of regularly seeing a psychologist and psychiatrist, taking my daily medication (SSRI�s), there were only a handful of people who knew I had depression. My depression was something which made me ashamed.

While I was at university, I decided I wanted to keep it to myself and not tell the university. That was, until I reached my final year and was required to complete a final project. After a few mental breakdowns in the computer labs, I decided to tell my lectures and seek help. I was then directed to �Disability Services�. I can remember being on the phone to one of the university employees who help �disabled students' and I cried afterwards. He was extremely nice, but it felt devastating. Being labelled as �disabled� really set me back. I can understand their reasoning for sending me to �Disability Services�, but it�s not the type of thing a 23-year-old wants to hear.

I had a few opportunities to open up about my depression. One occasion came when I was offered to share my story with a charity called Baytr back home in Australia, but I wasn�t ready and was just changing my medication. But once university finished, I felt free and didn�t feel the need to wear a �disabled� label. 

Just before I moved to the UK, I sat down with the founder of Batyr for coffee in Sydney. He told me about Student Minds and said I should get in touch. When I eventually made the move to the UK, I decided I wasn�t going to let my depression define me. Writing my first blog for Student Minds in April 2017 was the first real moment I felt comfortable and fine with people knowing that I have depression. I even told my current employers about my mental health when I was offered my job.

Now I have regular sit downs with my managers at work and talk about my counselling, my workload, my mental health and if there is any way they can help me if I�m struggling. I can�t thank enough all those people who have given me support and so much positive feedback. I�ve learnt that being depressed isn�t something to be ashamed of, and it shouldn�t define you. In the last month, I have turned to yoga and crossfit to �exercise my demons�, as well as reading books about the human consciousness to retrain my brain to be more positive. 

Really, my journey has only just begun.

I am a twenty-five-year-old Aussie bloke; atfer buying my one-way ticket and making the big move, I came into contact with Student Minds and applied for their Fundraising Champions initiative earlier this year, and when I was elected, my head filled up with ideas on how I can help break down this mental health stigma. I wanted to start by sharing my story with Student Minds and the extended mental health community.

Men�s Mental Health: Difficulties Opening up about Mental Health in Relationships

Ethan shares his difficulties of opening up about mental health when in a relationship, due to the expectations society places on men.

- Ethan

As a student, it is clear to see that our generation are spearheading the effort to create a more equal and accepting society for ourselves, and recognising and combating issues with the way that we treat each other as humans. Coming to University, I feel that this appreciation for each other and our differences is more prominent than anywhere else, and it is becoming much easier for individuals to express themselves however they please.

Of course, society is not perfect, and gender roles still prove to be instilled in the minds of even young people, such as ourselves and can be hard to let go of. At University, where sex becomes a priority for many people for the first times, women can feel that it is expected of them to be elegantly feminine and men, aggressively masculine.

While there is clearly an issue with the expectations that society places on women, it is the pressures that men are held under which I would like to discuss. In societies of the not-so-distant past, men were expected to be the breadwinner of the family; going out to work, providing for and protecting his family, and never making a fuss about it. This has recognisably changed, and women more than ever are building successful careers of their own. Domestic life is also changing, and women are no longer expected to assume complete responsibility of household tasks as well as raising children by herself.

Having been in two relationships myself, I am more than happy to take responsibility of previously �womanly� tasks, and take pride in supporting my partner in their individual achievements and career advancements; solely because I see no reason why I should be any superior, or my partner inferior, within a relationship.

Despite my efforts to avoid excessively typical gender expectations within my relationships, it is hard to battle the expectation I place on myself to protect and remain strong for my partner. It is not through doubt that my partner can�t take care of herself, but instinctively I feel the need to always be on the lookout, ready to protect her at all times.

To convince myself and my partner of this strength, I also feel the need to shelter certain emotions, or signs of instability or unpredictability. Having struggled with mental health difficulties in the past, and these experiences having been so formative of my character, I have discussed this past with my partners. However, I feel the need to keep it as just that, my past. If I ever feel a turbulence striking up again, I concern myself that I would worry my partner, that they would no longer see me as the stable rock that they need to support them when facing their own struggles.

For this reason, I feel it can be very difficult for men to feel comfortable when opening up about struggles that they are facing, through fear of showing cracks in the continually strong persona that we attempt to represent ourselves as. Despite this, the reality is that many women do want a partner that isn�t afraid to show these cracks, and that in some ways is conveying a courage of its own. I myself attempt in little ways to share my feelings in comfortable bursts, as it is important to remind ourselves that our partners and our friends really do care about us and want us to recognise struggles that we�re facing, in order to help ourselves and to help them help us.

Hey, I'm Ethan! Having not found the past few years a breeze, as few people do, and struggling along the journey to know myself and where I'd like for my life to take me, I thought I'd share my experiences and the lessons I've learnt from for others going through similar struggles, in hope that you also get a better idea of how you want to experience life. 

I'm currently studying Philosophy and Politics at UEA

Opening up about Men's Mental Health - Michael

Michael shares his experience living with and opening up about mental health conditions.

- Michael

For many years now I�ve been fighting mental health difficulties such as depression, mental paralysis, and anxiety. I�m in the prime of my life, so I ask myself, why do I feel like this? I�ve just turned twenty and I am a Student in London, but I find it hard to introduce myself because for years I didn�t have a clue who I was. My worst times were between 2015-2017 and I�m now in a rebuilding stage. I still fall down sometimes, but I get back up. Always get back up.

I see every day the major stigma for men to open up about themselves. People ask why? Men have been portrayed for decades � centuries, even � to be strong and mentally stable. It�s okay to be an �Alpha Male�, but it�s okay to be emotional too. The whole issue of stigma comes from society and the people around us. Our friends/family are often the main people we�d cover it up from, and I covered up my emotions just so I wouldn�t show weakness. Men do this, and using this mask works to an extent. It�s also hard finding somebody who will understand. Not many friends/family will ever understand what�s going on. I know this because I could never talk to people I care about the most.

What makes me talk today? I�ve had enough of seeing people fall below me. Meaning, I�ve been on the brink of giving up many times. Those potential final moments of your life it�s just an unexplainable feeling. Known/unknown names are falling below the level and it frustrates me. Therefore, for a Male like myself to decide to open up. It�s bloody necessary in today�s society.

I�ve found myself struggling to function sometimes because my cognitive performance has been worn out with stress and anxiety. I�m currently having to rebuild my ability to do things I once thought were simple, such as literacy skills. I also lost a lot of good things in my life during those bad times. I gave up activities I once loved, like hiking and the gym. I banned myself from learning to drive because I nearly crashed the car from lack of concentration. I didn�t want to put others in danger, so I quit. I lost important individuals who didn�t know about my mental health difficulties because I didn�t want to drag them down with me. I was giving up on my future. I couldn�t let them waste theirs, that would�ve been selfish of me. It�s these regrets that I have which are also encouraging me to talk and help others.

I think that the main challenge for men in our society is to get over their own ego which makes them think they�ll be strong enough to get through it alone. I�d love to meet a person who walked in and out of mental health difficulties without anyone knowing or without any harm done. I went years without telling anyone and it made me worse. I accept that everyone is different, but everyone needs some kind of help from a healthy source. We were all born to do something in life. We aren�t here to just struggle day by day and only find peace on our deathbeds.

Therefore, we as men need to open up. It doesn�t matter who you are, or your story. A �real man� talks! Don�t ever think you have go through mental health issues alone, that�s just toxic. You can get through the barrier, you just have to break through it. There are so many resources to help us overcome mental health difficulties, you just have to use them. The first step? TALK!


If you would like to get involved with our Men's Mental Health blogging series, then you can find all of the details here. You can also send us an email at blog@studentminds.org.uk for more details!

Hi, I'm Michael Rigby and I study Sports Business and Broadcasting at UCFB Wembley. I have experienced mental illness, including depression and social anxiety since the age of 14.

Opening up about Men's Mental Health: Michael

In order to tackle problems with men's mental health, we need to redefine our expectations and understanding of masculinity.

- Michael

Tell Us about Yourself

Having completed my BA and MA at Durham University, I began a PhD in October studying the relationship between education policy and student mental health. I regularly volunteer both with the Samaritans, and a local suicide prevention, intervention and support charity called If U Care Share Foundation. Student mental health and wellbeing is very important to me and I am running the Edinburgh Marathon in May to fundraise for Student Minds.

Do you think there is a stigma attached to men talking about mental health? Why? 

In my view, the stigma that is attached to men talking about mental health is produced through the language we use. This manifest in both how we talk about men and, consequently, in talking about men�s mental health. In his book How Not to Be a Boy, Robert Webb reflects on the way that social narratives of masculinity condition men into believing that certain thoughts, feelings, and behaviours are abnormal. Webb suggests that men act and interact according to certain socially accepted rules of masculinity. For example, that men do not cry, that men do not discuss feelings, that men get into fights, that men like girls, and that men obsess about sport. Men can find themselves defined and valued by their physical and emotional strength. These rules then tend to place conflict and competition at the centre of male relationships. 

There are ultimately, I believe, two perceived consequences for men talking about mental health. First, men become uncomfortable or unable to discuss feelings together. Men repress �unacceptable� feelings such as sadness, embarrassment or fear and these feelings can become either hidden from view or visible only as anger, arrogance or deflective humour. Secondly, men that do talk about feelings together are stigmatised as un-masculine, inadequate, or even homosexual. Talking about feelings is considered abnormal and weak, and men�s discomfort can result in frustration or humour projected onto those expressing them. 

Ultimately then, I believe that, not only does the narrative of masculinity make it especially difficult for men to talk openly about mental health, it can actually produce poor mental health. It creates certain damaging expectations of men and mentally unhealthy ways of coping with emotional distress (such as silence, violence, alcohol etc.). 

What made you decide to be open about your own mental health?

I hope that in opening up about my own mental health, other men will feel more confident to do the same. It is only by having an honest and open conversation about men�s mental health that we can learn from each other and make positive changes. 

What are the challenges for men talking about their mental health and how can we overcome them? 

To be clear, the social narrative and expectations of masculinity form the biggest challenge for men talking about mental health. Recognising that is the first step. To try and overcome this, I believe we must re-write the rules masculinity; that is, we must use language to re-form society�s expectations of men. One way we can achieve this is by empowering men with safe spaces, like this blogging series, to speak more openly about mental health. In doing this, I believe we can create an environment that supports men experiencing mental health issues.

If you would like to get involved with our Men's Mental Health blogging series, then you can find all of the details here. You can also send us an email at blog@studentminds.org.uk for more details!

Hi, I'm Michael. I'm currently a PhD student at Durham University and wanted to write for Student Minds about my own experiences of depression, anxiety and university life.

Supporting from the field: Manchester Men�s Hockey Club

Student Minds is the chosen charity for Manchester University Men�s Hockey Club. Here, John explores why they chose Student Minds, and what hockey is like beyond the sport itself.

- John

It�s easy to assume that most university sports clubs fulfil the stereotype: a big group of lads who don�t necessarily have the capacity for sincerity, sensibility, or a conversation on the subject of anything other than �beer and banter�. As one of the largest clubs at Manchester University, everyone in the Men�s Hockey Club is aware that this is how we are viewed by many who don�t know us. However, the reality is actually very different.

The friends that I have in the hockey club are genuinely among the most considerate and friendly people you could possibly come across. The club has always been keen to emphasise that it is inclusive to everyone, and the experience always trumps the hearsay. I�ll always remember my very own Freshers� Welcome Day -  every current member of the club took genuine interest and the time to ask who I was, what I was studying, and have a chat. Especially considering that I hadn�t played hockey for two years, this had the potential to be an intimidating environment, being watched by established members of the club. However, I managed not to embarrass myself, and instead I met people who I am friends with today. 

It never fails to amaze me, seeing how a sport can bring people together. We have so many members from a variety of different backgrounds, but we all have hockey in common � which at the end of the day is all that matters. This unifying factor creates a tight-knit community; the hockey boys are some of the most loyal guys I know.

This is why we decided to support Student Minds, and why it is such an important cause for us. For me, hockey is an outlet from the stresses of university life. I am a third year Architecture student, and the grade I achieve will ultimately affect the direction of my career. On top of my own personal life, that�s a lot of pressure. When I�m on that pitch, though, my only worry is the scoreline, the man I have to mark, or the pass I�m looking to play. Many will tell you that Wednesdays are sacred, and we mean it. It�s one day of the week where nothing else matters. 

Supporting Student Minds reflects what our club is to us. Hockey helps us, and we want to make sure that others have the same kind of support. 1 in 4 students suffers from a mental health issue, and while hockey is a fantastic community and support system, the pressures to perform well on the pitch can affect people, myself included. Mental wellbeing interacts with physical wellbeing, and this is a cause that is genuinely close to our hearts. 

This year, we have baked, raffled, even grown moustaches to raise money for Student Minds, and we�ve also been encouraging other clubs to take up the cause too. We�ve also just booked a charity club night, are planning a bingo evening, organising a campus league tournament, and are running the Manchester 10k in aid of Student Minds. Any of my team mates will tell you that with my asthma, I rarely last 10 minutes on the field, so 10k is a real challenge!

When you think of a university sports club now, hopefully you will see us as a group of lads who care about each other and are ready to welcome anyone into their world. Don�t get me wrong, we still have our weird traditions, and sing our songs louder than the rugby lot, but we also really care that everyone has the best possible time at university. We are proud to support Student Minds, and show that it�s ok to have problems, its ok to talk, and that even �the hockey lads� have some heart.

Hi, I�m John. I�m an architecture student at Manchester and the charity secretary for the Men�s Hockey Club. I personally have suffered with mental health issues, and as a club, we are motivated to change attitudes towards it and to support Student Minds in the work that they do.

Misconceptions about Eating Disorders

For Eating Disorders Awareness Week, Mary talks about the common misconceptions of eating disorders students face.

- Mary

Students have the stereotype of having an unhealthy lifestyle: eating too much fast food, not eating enough fruit and veg, and drinking too much alcohol which adds to students� already growing pressure to perform. Eating disorders are also stereotyped, creating stigma and common misconceptions about them. Having an eating disorder at university, combined with the pressure of being a student can be overwhelming, which is why we need to banish the common misconceptions about eating disorders so that it is easier for people to open up about them. 

1. People who have eating disorders are thin

People of all body shapes can have an eating disorder. In the media, people with eating disorders are generally portrayed as very underweight but this isn�t an accurate portrayal of reality. People�s weight fluctuates, therefore just by looking at someone, you cannot judge whether they have an eating disorder. You can be underweight, overweight, or have a �healthy� weight and have an eating disorder.

2. Eating disorders are about vanity

Yes, a part of eating disorders relate to the way someone sees themselves. But this isn�t only about physical appearance � developing an eating disorder is not something somebody does for the sake of how they look, but for other reasons such as a way to control something in their life.

3. Men don�t get eating disorders

Anyone can get an eating disorder. Whilst it is true that high proportion of people who suffer from eating disorders are young women, particularly those going through key transition stages in their life, such as from school to adult life etc., eating disorders occur across all genders (and ages, for that matter), male eating disorders shouldn�t be overlooked. this has led to the common misconception that men or people identifying as a gender which doesn�t include female do not experience eating disorders. 

4. There are only a couple of eating disorders

Wrong, there are lots of different types of eating disorders beyond anorexia and bulimia, and symptoms vary from person to person. Just like the flu, there are lots of different types and some symptoms or characteristics affect certain people more than others. 

5. It�s all in the mind, there are no physical symptoms

There are multiple physical symptoms and they vary between types of eating disorders, and they can be very dangerous. 

These are just five examples of the misconceptions about eating disorders. This is why it is important to increase awareness in universities. If more people are aware of eating disorders and how they affect individuals, there is more chance that people will be willing to open up about them. The more people know, the more support that can be offered from coursemates, housemates and friends at university. 

As a student, certain situations can make it more difficult to deal with problems like this. It is important to take time out of your busy university schedule to check your wellbeing. One of the biggest things that makes it hard for people to open up about eating disorders are the common misconceptions which further increase stigma. Therefore, starting the conversation at your university is an important way to increase understanding and decrease stigma for your fellow students. Students and young people are the next generations in society, and by opening up conversations, we can effect change, making our society an easier place to talk about, accept and overcome eating disorders. 

Hi, I�m Mary. I recently graduated from The University of Nottingham. During my time there I was part of Nottingham�s Student Minds committee; it was here that I found out about Student Minds� blog. Mental health is still something very stigmatised and not always talked about. So, I thought I�d try my hand at starting conversations about it and if they help just one person, it�s a step in the right direction.

Male Mental Health Month with Loughborough HeadsUp

Our student group Loughborough HeadsUp discuss their events for Male Mental Health Month.

-Hannah Timson

This November is National Men's Health Awareness Month and HeadsUp are focusing on communicating the importance and necessity of encouraging all men to be more open about their mental health. We want to fight the idea that men feel as though they must carry their mental health alone in silence and deconstruct the ideas of masculinity and the tough guy image of how we believe we should be acting.

Throughout the month we have been hosting a number of events and activities for everyone to come along and get involved in. These have ranged from a Meet and Greet with our committee where people were encouraged to come down to a sociable evening of pizza and games and discuss their ideas surrounding our work and future events; two Mindfulness Sessions in which an external speaker came into the Union to deliver short workshops on how to stay in control of your thoughts when stress becomes difficult to deal with, and a taster Kickboxing Session.

We also hosted a discussion panel surrounding this issue in which we put a series of hard hitting questions to a panel of strong and successful men who have themselves suffered with their mental health either in the past or the present. It was a highly interesting and informative event which incredible insightful and moving at points were shared.

Hi, my name is Hannah and I am currently in my final year studying English Literature at Loughborough University. I have suffered with panic attacks from a young age and was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Depression shortly after starting university. I set up my own blog as an outlet and started writing about my experiences in order to ensure that people knew that this wasn't a diagnosis to be ashamed of and to help others to come out and talk about their own struggles with someone they could trust. This year, I am working as Communications Officer for Loughborough Heads Up, the university's student led mental health awareness group who run campaigns around campus to raise awareness and work towards breaking the stigma surrounding Mental Health once and for all.

What does it mean to be a man?

Our student group Loughborough HeadsUp discuss the importance and necessity of encouraging all men to be more open about their mental health.

-Hannah Timson

"To be a man is to be honest and to be human" 

What does it mean to be a man? This is a question that I've always been puzzled by. Sweeping gendered stereotypes aside, is there really any difference between the answer to this and what it means to be a woman? Surely the real question here should be; What does it mean to be human? And the answers to that question could not possibly be condensed into this blog post. So instead I'll just give you a few:

Strength. Humility. Integrity. Love. Pain. Truth. Honesty.

Sounds fair? But the issue comes when you split these terms down into Gender. Society has conditioned both men and women to believe that they should act and behave in a certain way. This is why when the majority of men are questioned about the qualities of a man, they will reply with words associated with power, strength and action as opposed to emotion. Why is it considered "unmanly" by society to hide your true feelings behind this facade we have constructed surrounding men?

We have also be releasing material surrounding the campaign on a daily basis. This has included a leaflet about Male Mental Health which has been circulated around campus; the daily release of a photo of a famous figure who has suffered with their own mental health, a list of their successes and a famous quote, and finally a campaign video featuring some of the most reputable names at Loughborough talking about the stigma behind Male Mental Health. We have been overwhelmed by the incredible reaction we have had to the video and you can find it here to see for yourself:
https://www.facebook.com/lboroheadsup/videos/1672258392841995/

One of the men we interviewed as part of the video was Loughborough Students Union President 17/18, George Etherington. We have been speaking to George throughout our campaign as it is something he feels incredibly strong about and is very close to his heart. This is what he had to say in another interview earlier in the campaign:

"We need to teach people to redefine their definition of masculinity. We need young boys to grow up knowing that it is ok to be exactly how they are and to feel how they feel, not needing to "man up"and not needing to "be a man about it" ... To me, putting on a brave front isn't bravery. To me, bravery is being open and honest. Be vulnerable, let people see your emotions. I can't think of anything braver than allowing someone to see you for you."

Mental Health affects everyone, regardless of race, religion, nationality, colour or gender. So why do men feel so ashamed, why have they developed this unconscious belief that it is manly to hide what is hurting you?

Suicide is now reported as being the biggest cause of death for men under 35, with 1 in 8 men in the UK are experiencing a common mental health disorder, yet it is a significantly lower number whom actually declare this to anyone.

We have been raised surrounded by this masculinised social construct that men should not cry; that they not meant to feel insecure or vulnerable; that emotion and worry are wrong and that the strong minded and unempathetic archetype of men portrayed in films and the media will lead to success. That it makes them weak. They are not ashamed or affected because of it because the majority sought the help that they needed.

You are not going to make it through life untouched by moments of misery or sadness or fear. But these unwanted emotions are what make us unequivocally human. It is ok to be vulnerable. It is ok to feel. And it is ok to reach out for a helping hand. It makes you brave, not weak to do so. We should never be ashamed to be human.

Hi, my name is Hannah and I am currently in my final year studying English Literature at Loughborough University. I have suffered with panic attacks from a young age and was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Depression shortly after starting university. I set up my own blog as an outlet and started writing about my experiences in order to ensure that people knew that this wasn't a diagnosis to be ashamed of and to help others to come out and talk about their own struggles with someone they could trust. This year, I am working as Communications Officer for Loughborough Heads Up, the university's student led mental health awareness group who run campaigns around campus to raise awareness and work towards breaking the stigma surrounding Mental Health once and for all.